Figure 1 - The Party
Mark 'Can I ‘twin’ this one...' Slaymaker
Sarahlouise 'Have you seen my...' Jones
Anthony 'When I was in the Red Sea...' Peacock
Jo 'Don’t touch that, it’s for dinner...' Ilsley
Sean 'Just ‘cause I’m a veggie, does not mean that I only eat vegetables...' Dodd
William 'That means on the slip at 8 am ...' Howard (Lying down)
It seemed so innocent at the time, a quite residential street in Tring with three cars and a motorbike parked outside a house. Inside, the group of divers relaxed with cups of tea and coffee. Everybody had got there at least an hour earlier than needed. Soon the cars were loaded, and six divers in two cars, depart for Swansea to catch the 11:30pm sailing of the MV Superferry to Cork. From Cork the route took in some of the best Irish roads to Caherdaniel, Co Kerry on the west coast of Ireland. Now read on...
The cross country route to Gloucester caused much cussing from the following car’s occupants, on more than one occasion Mark’s sense of direction and parentage were called into question. After encountering the suicidal rabbits of the Forest of Dean (Anthony’s encounter, with a cry of ‘Just run the f****ing thing over!’, was deadly) a quick stop at a friendly hostelry for refreshments and dinner was called for. This was a complete success, except for the one member of the party allergic to cheese who ‘forgot’ that mousaka had cheese on it.
The group Arrived at Swansea docks in plenty of time, but found no sign of the ferry. When the Greek (honestly) ferry arrived with only half an hour to turn around, there was much debate as to the crews ability to achieve such a speedy unloading/loading. Once on board, after the mad rush to get to the bar in order to save enough seats, a period of relaxation and anticipation set in. Those who had (foolishly) declared a susceptibility to seasickness were regaled with tales of mountainous waves and vomit, just to reassure them about the 10 hour journey that lay ahead. The first division then appeared, those who wanted to sleep and those who wanted to drink, the drivers decided to drink first - sleep later. This proved to be a mistake as those who had slept first, did not want to sleep later! Jo disappeared into her portable hobbit hole only to emerge, transformed, in time for breakfast. A momentous medical discovery was made during this crossing, a new cure for nausea, forget Milk of Magnesia from now on try Milk of Guinness®.
A hearty Irish breakfast before docking, prepared the intrepid explorers for the next leg of the journey. The roads from the ferry port to Cork have been deliberately designed to lull car drivers into a false sense of security. A stop in Cork to play the well known game of ‘find a cash dispenser that will accept my card’ was only marginally successful (1 out of 6). Luckily a few miles out of Cork a bank was found that didn’t spit cards back at any English man/woman. With Punts filling wallets[sic], the convoy set off for the wildest depths of Co Kerry, and the roads became steadily worse. Those who had been on last year’s trip began to pass the time by spotting all of the roadworks that were still there. Whilst Anthony, Sean and Jo where laughing at how close the car in front was to grounding out on the road, their revelry was interrupted by a very load scrunching noise. The sudden loss of power and an engine noise that would not be out of place on a formula one racing car, suggested that the exhaust had had enough. Finally, Caherdaniel was reached. In glorious sunshine the party was greeted by Peter and Ena Sweeney, who make tea that reaches the parts other tea cannot.
Figure 2 - They Don't
The party was in good spirits (except Anthony whose exhaust was well and truly holed), the sun was shining, they were on holiday and Jo and William had agreed to do the cooking <fx:Thunderous applause>. So in the best spirit of comradeship everybody that wasn’t cooking went for a walk down to the harbour, leaving the cooks to create their culinary masterpiece. After a gentle walk to the harbour, a great time was had paddling in the gently sloping sandy shallows. Sarahlouise gave an extremely interesting talk about sexing crabs, after being thrown in head first. Sean somehow managed to stay dry throughout this. A hearty meal, a few pints of Guinness and then bed rounded off the day. Nobody could quite hide the anticipation of tomorrow’s diving
